we interview melchoy again (and this one's cooler than the one done by box :)

What're you wearing?

A t-shirt and a pair of pants. my glasses. my earphones. socks. shoes. underwear. in no particular order. some axe deo.

first things first, why do you hold your guitar so high?

i like to hold it high. it seems comfy.

when i asked you what your political opinion was you said you refused to define yourself. is this because you know absolutely jack about politics?

Define jack.

referring to the "mel: a history" post, we see you're wearing a google tshirt. were you being nice to afrin or are you a capitalistic pig?

I love Google. almost as much as I love masturbation. So, if Google tells us all that it is possible to watch The Exorcism Of Emily Rose without crapping your pants, I will believe them. If only I was as cool as Google. But I am not. But I am not a capitalistic pig. This is a capitalistic pig - PIG.

What is your critical opinion on malls?

Rhymes with balls.

Did you get bullied when you were little?

Very rarely. I always stood up for my rights. this one time this bastard Louis from Class 10 came up to my desk, pick up my pencil box and slammed it down. The pencil box was close to my heart because it was one of those double decker things that you could hold a million things in without bursting open. So i jumped out of my seat like Asterix and sat of Louis and punched him while the class cheered. That was the peak of my teenage years.

when and why did you drop out of college?

Shucks. Haven't been asked this for a long time. I dropped out because wasn't any good at it. I was wasting time, had absolutely no inclination towards lab work. I thought for sometime that it was cool to drop out. But it isn't. You need a grad for loads of things. I wish all readers massive success in their educational lives. Massive! *mental note*

the simpsons or southpark?

Fuck Kalhan .... you're a dick. Ofcourse, Simpsons. For me to poop on.

what are the political/social issues that require immediate attention? (unless you admit you know absolutely jack about politics, in which case you should only talk about the social part)

Finding stray dogs homes as opposed to killing them. Terrorism. Stopping it. Corruption - esp. when it's present in our Government & Police force Maps in South Africa such as

When did you start playing the guitar?

That is a personal question, Sir.

Where did you buy the cry baby from? how much did it cost you? is it worth the money? does it give problems at high frequencies? and why don't you use it? ankle problems?

I pulled it out for the first time at the Razz gig and now, looking back, I realise that it wasn't needed. It will be needed from upcoming gigs cause we're working on this new song called "My Punk Rock Days Are Gone" - which has a wah intro. It was a gift from Vishy. It cost me nothing. Just like Amitabh Bachchan's Mayback cost him nothing cause it was a gift from Amar Singh. It is worth the money? Hmmmm ....interesting. Let me think a little more about this one ... About the high frequencies .... don't know man. I just step on it. Sometimes it sounds ok, sometimes it kind of doesn't waaaaahaaaahaahah as well.Wish I could get that Jerry Cantrell sounds from Rotten Apple. Thats the best fucking wah I've ever heard. Better than Hendrix in Voodoo Child.

ever had a fracture?

yes. it was painful. very.

describe yourself in 6 words.

Supercoolawesomesexybrilliantneatsweet. (Done in one)

describe the rest of split on one word.

Determined

Split without Mel is like... (what?)

They'd be lost for a few years, but eventually they'd realise that they are indeed as talented as I always said they were.

Gmail or hotmail? (hotmail is now providing 5 gb of space, mind you)

then, gmail. It;s not the size - it;s how you use it. Hope my wife is reading this.

msn messenger or gtalk?

Gtalk

how come you don't blog anymore?

How come I don't ride my bike anymore? How come I don't drink as much anymore? How come I have enough hate inside me to kill 3 full grown Antelopes? Some questions are best left obfuscated.

Do you prefer the bombay scene to the Bangalore scene?

Trick question. Last I checked, Bangalore didn't have a scene.

Do you dance?

Sometimes. (everyone note this down and lets make fun of him when he posts on Splorkut) It's not something I'm proud of. But society puts too much pressure on people who don't want to dance. So, I just dance once in awhile to throw the agents off my trail.

Have you ever been hit on by a guy?

Yes. But it wasn't his fault.

As a guitarist, what are you more of? A songwriter or a perfectionist?

Songwriter.

To you, what is punk all about in one word (or two, if its too hard).

It's a question.

Did you like Borat, the movie? I think it sucked carrots (oh yeah, that's my new catchphrase, sucking carrots, what do you think?)

I hated it. The series was nice because it was all mostly un-scripted.The humour was all in that pretty much. Cohen is a fucking genius at improvising. Even the Ali G movie was hilarious. But with the Borat movie, the humour imploded under the script, killing with it the entire population of Kazakhistan and 3 horses. Nice. I like. Sucking carrots seems gay.

Talk about catchphrases, first "stop your bitching" and lately its been pitchouli!!!! What is pitchouli? How do you pronounce it? And when are you going to stop with the lame catchphrases?

It's patchouli. It's pronounced puhchoolee. I will stop with the lame catchphrases right now. Patchouli!!!!

Aviv vs Zorran, who would win?

Depends who's on top.

When you left Split in Bangalore, what were you thinking? Were you high?

I was bored. I get bored and do these things. Bangalore was AWESOME, so I'm glad I did that. But when I thought of moving back, the MOST important thing that drew me here was Split. I stayed in touch with the band while I was away, and even played with them for a show I think. Check with Shekhar. He remembers everything.

Are you high now?

No man. I'm incredibly bored.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever smoked?

I fucking hate you.

Watching two hot girls make out or making out with a hot girl, what would you prefer?

2 hot girls making out, definitely. Been watching a lot of cum-swapping videos on the net. They're awesome.

You guys keep talking about groupies, but I haven't seen any after the Split gigs i've been to. Are you guys lying, trying to convince us that you have extraordinary sex lives, or do you need special infra-groupie glasses to spot them?

The groupies exist man. Kind of. Sort of. Split is not the most sexually sought-after band in the world, but Nigel has been known to get lucky once in a while. And Shekhar of late. But all his women lurk in the shadows. It's like a pre-mating ritual. You won't understand.

Have you ever invented something?

Yes. I invented the pressure cooker.

What're you going to be doing in 5 minutes? (not doing hot groupies for sure)

I'm going to listen to the Muse.

Melroy, nice name, very nice. But the short form, Mel can cause trouble. When you were in school did people make funny rhymes about it? like "Mel fell in the well", "Mel is touching his bell" etc? How did you take it as a child?

The exact line was "Mel - ring my bell. Roy - take my toy". I took it not well at all. But that's how it is.

"Jumping off the cliff ain't scary, its landings that confuse andcloud me", actually, i get really scared (confused and clouded) evenif i'm stading on a cliff and if i look down (or if i look down frommy balcony on the second floor) so what i'm saying is, it doesn'tstand true for me. so, for the 4-5 seconds that it takes to sing thisline, you've lost the most important member of your audience. me. howdo you cope with this loss? (for 4-5 seconds)

I'm working on My House (Vertigo-free version). The line will now go -"Jumping off Patchouli ain't scary, it's gay men that gang rape and prod me".Do I have you now?

uhm... yes. now, associate a word or two with the following:
kalhan - lund
this is sparta! - 300
the split blog - afrin
adidas - afrin
sports - bat & ball
keith richards - monkey
marilyn manson - intense
kalhan - :)
pig society - railway platforms

who's split's biggest fan?

afrin

oh don't see me do ya, chootya? does your mum listen to split? what does she think?

no she doesn't. I dont think any of our parents are into Split. We don't invite them for shows. They don't pretend to miss it much.

what soap do you use?

mysore sandalwood soap.

who's the hottest member on the split forum?

There's this Italian woman called Paola.

*checks community members list*

you've had my rage dvd since last year, when you planning to give it back?

I do? That's news. It must've gotten lost in the mad party we had atmy place when we won Launchpad. I'll ask my wife to look for it.

your favourite indian band (that hasn't released an album as yet)

Split.

your inspirations? and why?

1] guitarists - frusciante (melodic & playing for the song), morello(powerful & riot-inducing), cantrell (path-breaking), billie joe armstrong (powerchord master), bellamy from muse (melodies).
2] non guitarists (painters blah blah) - matt stone and trey parker(for making me laugh & think). I like some of Simrat Sandhu'spaintings too. ( one of which i have seen and personally think it's brilliant)
3] lyricists - zack dela rocha, greg graffin, brandon boyd - and Eminem.

which lyric do you hold closest to your heart and why?

honestly (zwan) - i believe you mean the best that life can bring, ibelieve in it all
omission (frusciante) - omit myself as a favour for god, suffer fatecause it's the only lift you got, dedicating all of before to now,emphasising things you won't allow
take the power back (ratm) - the complacent students sit through someof that bullshit that he learnt in school
pig society (split) - nine - four on the paneland many other lyrics that do not lose their potency when written inlower case.

jane's addiction or chili peppers?

RHCP.

chili peppers or rage?

Rage

what was your mental state of mind mental thing, when you heard aboutthe rage reunion. describe briefly the espression on your face.

I was like "O well .... in a month, I'm going to meet a bastardsomewhere who went to the concert. Then I can live vicariously for aminute and try and forget the depressing geographical and economicalconstraints that made me miss the gig. Bulls Who Pee Red!!! Waon waonwacka waon waon wacka wacka wacka"

are you anti lol or pro lol?

anti it. But I'm pro :) And the wah is totally worth it man. Chicks find it hot when you use awah. It's like your expressing your soul with your foot.

Suck my ass

well, see ya mel, thanks for the interview and all

You really are a dick.

right. afrin is now going to do spellcheck on this blog post and put spaces in the necessary places :) thank you all for reading.