Melroy - The Incredulously Ridiculous

I'm not sure if the usage of 'incredulously' is correct here. However, I'm going to go with my Googly instinct which says it suitably conveys what I want to convey. Anyway, getting on with business, I was going through some old links, and found this hilarious story that Mel had posted on his blog.
Here it is in Mel's own words.

THE FIRST HISTORICAL INDIAN HOMOSEXUAL EPISODE

It happened in the time of Ashoka, many years ago. Gopi was a young village lad, supple and ambitious. Being ambitiously supple, he grew tired of his village and decided to head towards the big city - Takshila. Leaving with only blessings and a donkey to carry all his worldly belongings (2 pairs of clothes, food for the journey, some gold coins and a pencil), he head into the big, blue world. He stopped for rest in a few hours, then resumed his journey again. He repeated this sequence of actions several more times till - almost all of a sudden - he was at the gates of the big city.

Inside the city, he let the sounds and sights sink in nice and easy. Once he was done sinking, Gopi realized that he was really hungry. However, the supple lad had spent all his money and eaten all his food... all except a loaf of bread. He watched a couple of hot city women walk across the street carrying water in jars... they were really, really hot. He reached into his satchel strapped onto the donkey's back. The loaf of bread... nice. He pulled it out and was about to have a go when he stopped all of a sudden and didn't have a go. Instead, he made a beeline for a street-side stall from where emanated the most delicious of smells... the store sold butter chicken. Gopi almost slipped on the small pool of saliva that quickly formed at his journey-worn sandals. What was he to do now? No money, hunger tearing into his tummy and only a loaf of bread. The smell of butter chicken was so yummily yummy that he decided he'd hold the loaf above the big pot where the golden puree simmered. That way, he could taste the molecules of butter chicken and still not have to pay. Gopi smiled and drooled some more.

He held the loaf, at first sneakily, and then with growing confidence, above the pot. The shop keeper was too busy to figure out what Gopi was doing for the first 2 minutes. Then, when he finally did, he got really pissed. He asked Gopi to pay up for the yummy smoke that he'd consumed by generously spreading it over bread. However, our gastronomic gangster didn't have any money. So, he screamed and pleaded for mercy -

"I have nothing .... please spare me .... all I have is this donkey".

So, they took his ass.